We're having a few sleep issues, and I'd love some advice, tips, and input.
Some of you will be sickened to hear this, but pretty much from day 1 Hazel has slept through the night. Usually she'll wake up once between 3-6am, but that's always for less than an hour and then goes back to sleep until at least 7am. So in that way, we are extremely lucky. I am so grateful for her night time sleeping, and it makes all the uncertainties throughout the day that much easier to deal with because I'm well-rested.
The problem we are having is that she doesn't nap. I mean, literally, not even a 10 minute nap. That is unless we hold her. She'll cry, rub at her eyes, and fall asleep in our arms, but as soon as we lay her in her crib, she wakes up and screams. We've tried the 10 minute cry it out method, we've tried checking her diaper and feeding her method. She will sleep for a long nap if I take her out in the sling, so that is helpful for when I run errands. But am I creating a bad habit? Those of you with children, did any of yours not nap? Did they begin to nap? Did you have any tricks? I know some babies just don't nap, but I can tell not only is she tired but she's incredibly cranky throughout the day without a nap, and I end up having to hold her pretty much her entire awake time because otherwise she fusses.
Also, what time did you put your babies to bed? Hazel usually begins winding down about 6:30pm, and ends up in bed around 7pm after her bedtime ritual. This seems awfully early to me, but we've tried keeping her up later and she's a beast. I'd love for her to sit with us for dinner and then we put her down, but we end up rushing through dinner because she's screaming the whole time.
So - any advice is appreciated because we are newbies! We love hearing from other parents, and the hope is we'll even pick up a tip or two that makes a difference.
About Me
- Emily
- Between the four of us, we've lived in 8 states and 3 different countries. We've been married 11 years and moved 11 times, making me simultaneously long for roots while missing my former homes. I don't feel exactly "right" anywhere. It's okay though - God has used this to remind me that since our citizenship is in heaven, we know we're not home yet!
13 comments:
I don't have any advice :) My problem is that Aashini likes to sleep during the day, but not at night - she's noctournal (sp?) :) I try sooo hard to keep her awake during the day - haha! oh well :)
Wish I had the magic answer! What ritual do you do before bedtime at night? Maybe you could implement the same routine, or at least part of it, during the day before nap times. We bought lavendar-scented baby lotion and put it on Micah before every nap and at night, then we sang the same song and read a book. It seemed to work--he naps well now, anyway!
i don't know how easy it is for you guys to order books from amazon or something like that over there, but the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by dr. marc weissbluth was, and still is my biggest resource for sleep issues. (My girls are 4 and 15 months). It is frustrating when you know they need to sleep, but won't. he gives some real, practical tips in the book, as well as explaining the importance of good sleep patterns and how they affect everything else. as far as letting her cry it out, it may take more then 10 minutes for her to fall asleep, but maybe you're not comfortable with that (i know it's SO hard to sit there and let them cry!). if she falls asleep in the sling, the there's not much harm in putting her to sleep in that, and then trying to transfer her to a regular sleep spot once she's out...if she'll stay asleep! finally, one more tip: my first baby wouldn't nap at all in her bed for the first few months, but she would sleep in the vibrating chair. i'd put it on vibrate until she fell asleep, then turn it off once she was out. she was strapped in, so i knew she was safe, and she'd just take her naps there. if you have anything like that, and she'll sleep in it, leave her there. there's no rule that says she has to sleep in the crib right now. just concentrate on getting her to sleep somewhere. once she's not so overtired from not sleeping, and her body's more used to the sleep patterns, then you can work on getting her in the bed. the more overtired & overstimuated they are, the more adrenaline their bodies produce, and thus it's herder to get them to calm down & sleep. i know it's frustrating, but try not to stress too much. she's still really little. the first three months are the hardest (i think) as far as sleeping.
as far as the early bedtime, i don't think 7 is too early. my 4 year old goes to bed at 7. my 15 month old goes to bed at 6 p.m. and sleeps all the way to 7:15-ish in the morning. trying to keep her up later is fruitless b/c she just gets cranky. they're little. their bodies use a lot of energy just to grow. they need sleep. i don't know if i buy into that 'some babies just aren't nappers' theory. they all need that rest, and he addresses that in the book. i know some are more resistant to being put down to nap, but i truly think they all need it. this is all opinion, and i hope it's not obnoxious that i've written so much. i thank the boss that my girls have been such good sleepers, but it did take some effort! stick with it. i hope this helps. you can email me if you have any questions or comments, or just want to say 'who the heck are you & why are you telling me what to do with my baby!" or maybe you could just read all this to hazel & my wordy answer will put her to sleep! :)
-katie-
taypeeg@gmail.com
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0345486455/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202089480&sr=8-1
I have read some of the Healthy Sleep Habits book mentioned and it is really good.
I don't think you're creating habits at this age. I think you should just do what works to get her to nap. When Evan was about Hazel's age, his best naps were in his swing. By about 3 1/2 months, I was putting him in his crib two times per day for a morning and an afternoon nap.
You all are so blessed that you're having good nights. Hopefully the daytime routine will come together soon. Just do what works! Keep us posted.
LEAH
I have read some of the Healthy Sleep Habits book mentioned and it is really good.
I don't think you're creating habits at this age. I think you should just do what works to get her to nap. When Evan was about Hazel's age, his best naps were in his swing. By about 3 1/2 months, I was putting him in his crib two times per day for a morning and an afternoon nap.
You all are so blessed that you're having good nights. Hopefully the daytime routine will come together soon. Just do what works! Keep us posted.
LEAH
Owen is one month younger than Hazel, so the same stuff may not work. But, this is our routine...
Owen will take two good naps ( 2 - 4 hours) during the day. The first one he will take in his crib. I usually play with him for about an hour (tummy time works well because he gets pretty tired from that). Then I bathe him, which also wears him down. Finally, I feed him. He will sleep really well after that. His afternoon nap is in my arms...no tips there! Same story as you--if I put him down, he wakes.
But, Owen doesn't go to bed at night until about 11PM and he wakes at 3AM and 6AM for food.
Good luck!
Okay, so I too am a new mom but I thought you might be willing to listen to some advice anyway.:) I'm a Babywise mom (I know some of you are cringing) and all I know is that the methods in that book work! Josiah sleeps 12 hours at night. He takes two, two hour naps during the day and maybe one short (30 minute) nap before bed in the evening. When I first started Babywise though, it was hard...I had to learn to let him cry himself to sleep (talk about heart breaking!). But now I am SO glad I did it! When it's his nap/bed time I just kiss him, put him in the crib (awake) and walk away. He doesn't cry for more that 30 seconds now (if that). All that to say that you should read Babywise if you're interested! :)
...one more thought I had. I read The Happiest Baby on the Block, which advances a theory that the first three months are basically a "fourth trimester." I wonder if the fact that Hazel sleeps so much at night in her crib means that she craves the time "attached" to you during the day, which is why she will sleep in her sling. The book certainly doesn't address this, but based on it I wonder if you let her sleep with you after she wakes for her 3 - 6AM feeding, if she would get some of that "attachment" time and then be more willing to take an "unattached" daytime nap. Just a random thought as I usually let Owen sleep with me from about 5AM until he wakes at 9AMish, and then he goes down for a good nap at 11AM.
Haha...I'm planning to become a mom in the next couple weeks or so...BUT...
We read the "Happiest Baby on the Block" (Dr. Harvey Karp, author) as well...and Hazel really seems to fit the description in the book.
Basically (when you get past the evolution mumbo-jumbo) there are "5 S's" that can be done to help a baby not fuss (swaddling, ssshhing, side/stomach lying, swinging, sucking). And... every baby is different and wants any different combination of the 5 things.
Seems like the thing Hazel wants is "Swinging"... the motion and the warmth of being in the womb. So when she's in the sling she gets what she needs to relax and can sleep, but then when the motion stops it wakes her up.
The author of the book says DO NOT worry about spoiling or making a bad habit in a baby until the 4th month...so, if Hazel wants to be in the sling, and you don't mind her being there, then by all means give her what she seems to need.
(The book helps explain how to "wean" babies off of what they want by the 4-5th month)...
But that's coming from me...the know-it-all reader:) I'll let you know in a month or so;)
You got a bunch of great advice listed above. Here's what I'd say...
1. Babies love routine, so if you can do the same sleep things everyday - ie put her down for a nap at the times she should be napping (no matter how she protests), maybe she'll eventually get the hint. ,
2.Babies won't die if they cry - so rather than let her cry for just 10 minutes before you pick her up, let her cry longer. She might eventually give up and sleep. And once it happens once, she may learn to do it the next time easier. It's hard to listen to your little one cry, so I"ve heard that some moms run the vacuum to drown it out. If you think this is too harsh, then don't do it. Just a suggestion. I've had to do it out of necessity a few times because with three, sometimes Abby just has to wait till I can get to her. She often falls asleep while she's waiting.
3. We do back sleeping for nighttime and tummy sleeping for naps. Abby knows what's coming and she also can't see what she's missing yet. It seems to tire her out faster too .
4. Since things there are cheaper maybe you could look into getting a swing. I've read that over 80% of kids fall asleep in a swing, so maybe that would get her the rest during the day that you all need.
Good luck! That's great that she's asleep by 7 pm and sleeps so well during the night. It's not too early and you'll be so glad you and your man have the evenings together after she gets the hang of napping. Be sure to post how things go in the next few weeks!
Since she likes being in the sling, she might like to be elevated when she sleeps in the middle of the day. Try the swing. My daughter slept many, many nights in that because of the elevation and the motion.
Also, you will have to try longer than the 10 minutes for the cry it out method. I know it is really hard, but well worth the effort for both of you once she gets it.
I didn't really try to make mine have a schedule until they were 6 months old--especially cause both slept through the nights from early on, I didn't care much about the day, but they did nap. ...and by 6 months they had already formed a schedule themselves. a swing was AWESOME with Sarala...and actually at MLC she never slept in the crib in the nursery only the swing and our strict and so predictable schedule there got her into a schedule for us! :) but the swing was gold for her and she got into 2 hour naps in the morning and afternoon there...which made for easy transition to crib naps. Jackson was just a sleeper...slept through the night earlier and took WAY too many naps in the day. he woke up around 6 months though!!! honestly, do what works for you. And, enjoy dinner with your hubby and a sleeping baby while you can cause soon there will be spitting out peas and carrots and throwing cheerios and pasta and all that good fun to look forward too!
hope that helps...I guess it's not too much advice...just our story.
and...i already have a swing ready for this one! I wonder what in the world kind of sleeper we'll have on our hands especially since the first two were so good, I'm sure I'll be comparing.
HI, saw your blog through Andrew and Liz'...My little girl would not sleep in her bed during the day for the first 4 months or so. She slept in her swing ALL the time. Now that she has learned some self-soothing habits, her bed is the ONLY place she will sleep. It is all trial and error. But I know that when they are so little, a swing or bouncy seat is great to calm them down. GOOD LUCK!!
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